Automatic Essay

Automatic Essays: My Ace in the Hole

One the most frustrating essays to write is the one where you are asked to critique an idea, argument, or document and you have nothing to say. There really are some things for which I have no opinion. Luckily, I always had my ace in the hole when I needed it. When stuck for something to write about I would simply write about the fallacies in the material. This is what I call the Automatic Essay since it virtually writes itself.

What is a fallacy?

A fallacy is a mistaken argument, premise, or conclusion. I have not found an article or book that completely avoids fallacies (this is a fallacy if I try to make it into an argument--read below to see if you can guess which one).

What's the trick?

The problem is that if you mention fallacies, your reader knows that you took a shortcut to the material. The trick is to write about the fallacies without mentioning them. More on this below under Method.

What's the benefit?

When done well, it makes you look as if you have really thought about the material.

Is this a Last Minute Student Method?

• Yes and no. If you are good at spotting fallacies this is probably the fastest critical essay writing method.
• If you are slow spot fallacies then you need to practice first

Common Fallacies

There are about 100 fallacies. Typically, I would only use the following ones.

Equivocation: Usually this is where a word is used more than once, with more than one meaning, and yet treated as if only one meaning applies. Sometimes the word is used once but with more than one meaning. A famous example is: nothing is better than steak. A hot dog is better than nothing. Therefore, a hot dog is better than steak.

Here there are two meanings of nothing: (1) not anything and (2) zero. A simple example is: if the Leafs are a professional hockey team, why are they losing. I thought being a professional means you win. Professional is the first instance means "paid," not "good at it."

How I might point this out in an essay without mentioning equivocation: Professor X is using the word as if it means X, but in this case it means Y.

Appeal to Ignorance: This is where a lack of evidence is used as evidence. This is a very common fallacy. For example, not one study supports the idea that drinking fluoridated water actually improves dental health. This is a fallacy only when used as a positive claim and not necessarily as a negative claim. Let me explain, a negative claim would suggesting that I do not believe vampires exist. A positive claim is to state that there are no vampires. For positive claims, a lack of evidence is not evidence.

How I might point this out in an essay without mentioning Appeal to Ignorance: Mr. Jones notes that not one study supports X and thus X is false. His claim, however, requires some evidence that not X. To date there is no such evidence.

Begging the Question: I cannot believe the evidence unless I believe the conclusion. For example, to state that abortion should be outlawed since it is murder is not evidence. Whether it is murder or not is what is being debated.

How I might point this out in an essay without mentioning Begging the Question: The author suggests that X. X however, can only be accepted if you first support her conclusion that Y.

False extremes: Someone presents a false spectrum of ideas or alternatives. For example, Senator Paul was against the Vietnam war, he must not believe that the Vietnamese deserved freedom. This is a fallacy since there are many reasons someone may not support a war.

How I might point this out in an essay without mentioning False Extremes: The article mentions that if X is not followed then Y must be true. There are, however, other possibilities. For example, it may that...

Faulty Analogy: A comparison is made but the critical elements do not match. For example, drinking and driving is like pointing a loaded gun at a crowd and firing. This is a fallacy since most people who drink and drive are trying to avoid hitting anyone. Instead drinking and driving is like pointing a gun in the safest possible direction, not pulling the trigger, and still hitting someone.

You can easily find a full list of fallacies on the net. Here is one site: http://www.iep.utm.edu/fallacy/

How I might point this out in an essay without mentioning Faulty Analogy: To support his point, he compares X to Y. Is this a valid comparison? X is like this. Y, however, is like this.

Method

1. Do not mention either the term fallacy or the name of the fallacy.

2. Make each fallacy into a paragraph. That makes the process of writing your thesis easier. Your thesis is something like: There are several problems with accepting the account in the article. Those problems will be the fallacies you have found. For example: There are several difficulties accepting professor's X's account: (1) his use of the word nothing, (2) he uses the 
lack of evidence to support his study, (3) etc.

3. Organize your fallacy paragraphs from least serious to most serious.

4. Your concluding paragraph should evaluate how serious each problem is and whether this is fatal to the overall account or argument, or not.

Hope that helps,

The Insider